Following on from Senator Fidelma Healy Eames' questioning of Minister Pat Rabbitte at a meeting of the Joint Committee on Transport and Communications, over the issue of the challenges facing people through the irresponsible use of social media, notably her "unique" definitions of social media terms, e.g. "'Fraping', where someone is raped on Facebook", I've decided to bring you the "Fidelma Healy Eames Social Media Glossary", in order to assist parents and community groups across the country. Feel free to leave additions in the comments; together, we'll make the Internet a more knowable place for the youngsters!1337: just after 1:35PM, middle of the lunch break. I had a nice ham salad.
Avatar: a 2009 movie with blue people that was pirated, like, a LOT by people refusing to respect the laws of the country. They'll be downloading cars next.
Blog: portmanteau of 'web log', which dates from the pre-computer days, when people printed the Internet on trees.
Blogroll: toilet roll.
Comment: where people post really upsetting things about the Government in blogs (see above), in the public sections of online newspapers , or in your youngster's status. (We in Fine Gael are more concerned about the Government thing.)
Facejack: It's either something to do with using your face to do that freestyle dance style that was popular in the late 1980s or, more likely, something to do with masturbating the Kony guy in San Diego. But with the face.
Facepalm: what happens when someone headbutts your hand, over the Internet.
Flash: The process whereby your private memory is openly read out on the Internet by youngsters (courtesy Peter O'Brien)
Follower: someone who stalks the youngsters on the Facebook or the Twitter.
Hashtag: a location where drugs can be easily accessed. By the youngsters!
HTML: abbreviation of "hate mail", which harms your children.
IP: abbreviation for "Internet postcode", which is how we'll get those nasty people putting abuse online anonymously.
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| The Internet Secret Service? |
Permalink: a link to a page or photo that is always there, even if you delete it, because otherwise it wouldn't be permanent, now would it Minister?
Poke: when people try to touch the youngsters over the Internet.
Social media: an unregulated Internet network where people can just say anything they like, anywhere they like, without Government regulation!Troll: mean-spirited anonymous meanies who interrupt the youngsters' fun by posting mean things all over the Internet. We don't know if we can track their Internet Postcodes (see above), but we think they may live under bridges. But they're definitely everywhere.
Viral: an email that gives a virus to your computer.
Youtube: Isn't that the place where the youngsters steal RTÉ programmes from, instead of paying for the TV licence?
